


Things You Said When You Were Scared

by captainkatieb



Series: The Tumblr Ficlets [2]
Category: Actor RPF, Star Trek RPF
Genre: Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:12:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6725548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainkatieb/pseuds/captainkatieb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have thirty seconds Quinto before I’m going to find my way in. At risk to your back window. So just think about that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things You Said When You Were Scared

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This was for both [Respeckled](http://respeckled.tumblr.com) and [illneverstopsayingyourname](http://illneverstopsayingyourname.tumblr.com) over on tumblr from a prompt-fill request. You can find more drabbles and WIP-fic snippets (I promise I have a longer one coming!) over on [my tumblr](http://captainkatieb.tumblr.com).

He’s standing outside Zach’s door, flipping his keys over in his hand, and deliberating.  He hasn’t heard from him in a while, beyond a few text messages and one brief phone call after he got the news about Leonard passing. He sighs before locking his car and tucking his keys into his pocket. Chris pauses on the doorstep, raising his hand to knock.

“Zach!” Chris calls when there’s no immediate response.

He hears twin sets of barking and the scuttling of paws on timber floors. Okay so Noah and Sunk are at least at home.

“Zach!” Chris calls again. “You better let me in or I’m just going to break in instead.”

Still no response. It’s going to be breaking in then. Chris digs his phone out, opening up the message application.

_You have thirty seconds Quinto before I’m going to find my way in. At risk to your back window. So just think about that._

He stands there, tapping the phone against his chin as he waits for a response. When it buzzes, he almost drops it from surprise. He flicks open the message and just laughs.

_Fuck off, asshole._

“Breaking in it is then,” Chris says to himself.

He steps back, assessing the best option. He pockets his phone before jogging lightly to the side fence. The gate looks like it should be able to take his weight, but to be on the safe side Chris grabs it and pushes solidly on it first. When it doesn’t give any sign of moving, Chris jumps, grabbing the top of the fence and pulling him  self up. He really hopes none of Zach’s neighbours choose this moment to walk down the street. Even though he’s been here before there would still be a lot of explaining to do. He swings over and jumps down the other side landing solidly.

Chris stands up, brushing off his hands. He makes his way around to the back door. Pressing on the handle, Chris is surprised when it just opens.

“We really need to talk about home security,” Chris calls as he lets himself inside.

Noah and Skunk run over, tails wagging. Chris detours for a few moments, giving them both a thorough pat and scratch.

“How’s he been, hey guys?” Chris asks softly.

Noah woofs low in response and just rolls over, baring his stomach for more scratches. Chris grins, obliging before standing up. He dusts his hands off and takes stock of the living room. It’s dark and the curtains are all drawn. There are a few empty mugs strewn across the room and a pile of unopened mail on the hallway table. No sign of Zach though.

Chris picks up the mugs and takes them through to the kitchen, placing them down in the sink gently. He checks on Noah and Skunk’s water and can see they’ve been fed, so that’s a good sign. The house is still as Chris makes his way down to Zach’s bedroom. The door is closed, with no light appearing from the crack at the bottom.

Chris taps against the door. “Zach?”

There’s no answer. Chris takes that as permission to come in. He pushes open the door, stepping inside and closing it gently behind him to keep Noah and Skunk from running in behind him.

There’s no light coming in from the window, Zach’s curtains pulled tight. Chris waits for his eyes to adjust. He can just make out Zach’s form on the bed, tufts of black hair sticking out from where he has the blanket pulled up over him. Chris’ heart constricts slightly at the sight. Zach’s hurting, and there isn’t anything Chris can do to fix it. He walks around to the side Zach isn’t occupying and toes his shoes off before crawling up onto the bed. He sits up with the headboard behind him and reaches a hand out to card through Zach’s hair gently, figuring Zach could use the comfort.

Zach stirs. “Fuck off Pine. Did you not get the whole ‘stay away’ vibe?” Zach says, his voice rough.

“I did. I also chose to ignore it,” Chris replies.

Zach just sighs.

They sit there like that for a while; Chris running his hand through Zach’s hand and Zach still curled up. Eventually Zach turns over, pushing the blanket down and looking up at Chris.

“Why are you here?” he asks.

“Because you could use someone right now,” Chris replies gently. “ Locking yourself up like this isn’t healthy, Zach.”

“I miss him,” Zach says.

“I know.”

“No, you don’t, no one does,” Zach snaps.

“Okay, I don’t know. But you’re not the only one who has lost him. Who has lost someone,” Chris says.

“But I _keep_ losing people. Everyone I love eventually leaves me,” Zach says, voice breaking. Zach wipes angrily at his eyes, sniffing. “What does that say about me, huh?”

“Zach, you couldn’t control this. It’s not your fault.”

“What’s the point of loving if all it does is end in heartbreak?”

“Because it would be worse if you didn’t.”

“No. It’s safer if I don’t. Then I don’t have to lose you…” Zach trails off, flipping over and facing away from Chris.

“You’re not going to lose me, Zach. I’m still here,” Chris says, reaching out to touch Zach’s back.

“No, you don’t understand.”

“Then try to explain it to me.”

There’s a pause. Zach hunches his shoulders, drawing in on himself.

“I’m scared to. I’m scared to say what I’m thinking right now because it would make you leave.”

“Zach. Look at me,” Chris commands.

Zach turns reluctantly. Blue eyes meet brown, and Chris smiles softly.

“I’m not leaving.”


End file.
